The Jeremy Bentham

Pub 7. The Jeremy Bentham, 9th November 2011.


There's not many pubs in our wonderful borough where you can pop round the corner and see the chap whom the place is named after preserved and looking well in a glass box. In fact, I'd wager that the Jeremy Bentham is the only boozer where such a thing is possible, and I suspect that the late Mr Bentham would be rather pleased.
This is a lovely pub and was made even lovelier by the fact that I was able to spend one of my Camra free beer vouchers. Free beer in a nice pub... sometimes life is sweet! Although once again I've left it so long twixt visit and write-up I can't remember what I had. But it was very nice though.

The only annoying thing about the whole evening is that after being sat at the bar by the poppy collection, when I left I noticed that my own poppy had fallen off at some point and all I was left with was a green stem on my lapel.

Nice parquet floors covered by awful rugs
Fine ales

Nice old tap still proving useful
Only one apostrophe allowed per menu

Camden Bar and Kitchen

Pub 6. Camden Bar and Kitchen, 13th November 2011.


What would you call something that has a bar, and a kitchen and is in the Borough of Camden if you had no imagination. This place has a bar - well more of a counter as it could only boast one shiney lager pump - and a kitchen and is right on Camden High Street. And there's not much more to say about it. They say about themselves "By Night, Camden Bar & Kitchen is transformed into a cool bar and restaurant, with candles, chandeliers and rock'n'roll portraits setting the mood.". Make of that what you will. Also also note the lack of a definite article there, very annoying but cool and rock'n'roll I suppose.
A few hip kids mingling with the tourists. I'm sure I was the only one relieved to bottles of ale in the fridge - Speckled Hen or some Badger ale, can't quite remember. I can remember it cost £4.80 a bottle though. Or something like that, I can't quite remember. I didn't like it here but it's not their fault, it's just not my kind of place. If you want a bar with not many beery pretentions and a kitchen-ette then come here! But you want a pub, go to a pub.
Glad to have got this one ticked off the list. The live music was very good though.




Well equipped kitchen.

The bar type serving counter area

Elvis has not left the building

Let the Stephensons entertain you - they're very good.

Tapping the Admiral

Pub 5. Tapping the Admiral, October 2011.

At this rate it's going to take me ages to complete my task. I went in this pub a month ago and only now have I got round to writing about it. And now I do I realise that I've mislaid the photos, and can't remember the date of the visit.

Anyways. This place has been shut for the past few years, and I remember from before then being called the Tavern in Town. Which I'm not sure - I'm pretty sure it's in Camden Town but I'm sadly so used to people dropping the Town from Camden Town that I'd always assumed it was the supposed to be the Tavern in Kentish Town. But maybe it might even have been announcing itself as the Tavern in London Town? Who knows? It looked awful back then and I never went in. Before then I'm told it was called the Trafalgar, the Admiral Nelson and the Nelson, so I'm guessing that's where the odd present name comes from. And 'Tapping' from… hmmm I think as they're selling themselves on the current and wonderful real-ale trend (oooh pray be that it isn't just a trend) I guess the tapping comes from wooden-peg-in-the-cask thing that these cellarmen like to do. I'm not sure I like the name. Verbs don't have a place in a pub name, it makes it sound like a statement. Hopefully it will become shortened to its latter noun in the punters' vernacular before long.

So down a very quiet back street I walked and the softly glowing windows beckoned me in, through a door that looked like one of those doors that you're not sure if it is still a door or not, but this one is. Inside is very nice, all wood and early 20th Century on the walls. No jukebox was evident. This is very good. The discrete music came from a some sort of player behind the bar. And so to the bar. I caught the barman knocking back a cheeky half - 'quality control!' he joked at me. Ho ho. 'A pint of Trinity please!', 'Camra?', 'Yes I am!', '£3 please then', went the exchange. And with it some light banter with the chap, who was then replaced with a lady and more pleasant banter to be had concerning living locations and homemade food. When it came to another pint, which I think was Darkstar Hophead a different chap again served me and no mention was made of Camra, but this time the pint was £2.80. How odd thought I, but didn't say anything.

The place is run by the same people who run the Pineapple up in Kentish Town - the Fruit in the Town - and also had something to with Steeles, so from what I could overhear everyone who came in were punters from those pubs who'd come out of curiousity from the former and for a nice change from the under-new-management latter. There will be no passers-by popping in to this pub as there will be no passers-by - unless they're lost. So this looks like it's going to be a locals only boozer, and hoorah for that.
There were 6 handpumps, and I think I heard mention that they were going to have one always off for cleaning, so 5 ales will be available at any one time. Hopefully at £2.80 + Camra discount!

A right lovely pub this is, and I really hope it does well. I will be popping in again from time to time. But one thing… boy was it cold! Big, empty, echoey, clean and smelling of paint. And cold! They were talking about opening up a fireplace that was about 25 feet away from where I was sat. They could just put the heating on I thought. So after a brief all-pub chat with another chap at the bar about the symtpons of piles versus the symptons of bowel cancer I made my excuese and left. For a warmer pub.
(Footnote, the next time I went in the barmaid was on the other side of the bar and remembered me with a cheery hello. Which is nice. But it was still cold).

And a PS to the footnote. I know what Tapping the Admiral is now. I'll drink to that!

And a PPS - finally got some pics up. These are from the official opening night.




The Gratehouse



Pub 4. The Gatehouse, 7th September 2011.

It's early September, only the autumn of the summer, if you get my drift, so you don't expect to see a roaring real (gas) fire in a pub. But then the Gatehouse in Highgate is no ordinary pub, it is a geographical record breaker - at 51.5degs N it is not only the northernmost pub in the borough, but also the highest. Towering a good 360feet or so above the mean sea level. There's probably nothing between here and the Urals and those arctic blasts must whistle straight through - hence the real (gas) fire. I'd hated to have been there without it.

Brrrrrr
You cannot get much further north















I reckon the Gatehouse takes its name from a gateway into the Bishop of London's back garden from the old days, but I don't know. I could be completely wrong there. It is a Wetherspoons, but not a bad one at all. The main thing that gives it away is the JW trademark huge table full of sachets of sauces and condiments. But don't be put off, this is quite a pleasant pub - no doubt the trek north and ascent of Highgate Hill West put off the usual clientele. In fact it was very quiet, helped by that other muchly welcomed JW feature NO JUKEBOX! :-) There were a couple of Wetherspoonery old fellas minding their own business. And a table of middle aged Africans or West Indians (excuse my shocking memory but it was nearly a month ago.) whose brightly attired matriarch was loudly complaining about both her chicken and the English propensity to complain.
















The time twixt visit and write up (a holiday dear reader!) also means I can't remember what I had - something nautical I think, some lighthouse thing or other? nor how much it was. Only that a half was half the price of a pint And that the barmaid seemed to take some persuading that I wasn't standing at the bar for the good of my health. "Young lady!" I called out mentally "no-one comes in a Wetherspoons for their health, so pray cease jawing on to you pal about X-Factor* and doth come and serve me." which she did with almost no fuss at all. One could get very comfy in here, with a choice window seats and cosy boothes. And the dining area looks like it might have from a gentleman's club. Even though I'm sure no gentleman would so blatantly ignore the "diners only" sign. And I've never been a gentleman's club anways - I guess this Wetherspoons is the closest I'll come. A worrying thought. But never-mind the future, there's lots of  history adorning these past.



So who needs gentlemen's clubs when you've got horns to be sworn on and real (gas) fires in the autumnal summer?







* - probably. could have been boys. or look at that knob at the bar wanting to be served. let's make him wait.


With anyone else but me, anyone else but me... no no no!

Pub 3. The Apple Tree, 28th August 2011.

What nicer surprise to pop into a pub and to be unexpectedly and immediately greeted by a table of smiling pals. But then how annoying as to not be completely sure if the pub was in Camden or not. I said yes but only just, my friend said no but only just. The street signs on the pub side of the road said Camden, on they other side they said Islington - hence the confusion and brief debate before more important and interesting matters. But its presence here confirms that it is officially in Camden. But only just.

Yes mate, I'm taking a photo of you.


By the time we got here we were already quite in liquor so details are a little sketchy, and this is compounded by the distaction of chatting to said chums rather than noting down the shape of the barstools and percularities of the toilet signs. Etc. Sorry to disappoint dear reader, but it is so nice to catch up with the folks.
In fact the noisome atmosphere within was due to their regular Sunday afternoon music sessions Come Down and Meet the Folks formerly of a much missed boozer not of this parish. And a grand old afternoon it is too if you like the country thing. I really have no excuse for not going more often.

Initially my associate went to see to the business end of things while I settled down at the table with the others. He knows that  more often than not I have a bias towards the weakest beer on the menu so he came back with a Green King IPA for me. It sufficed. But next up I plumped for the St Edmunds - at 4.4% quite managable for a bank holiday Sunday! 

I'm going to keep my eyes open for beer
ads with Status Quo song titles in them
We caught the end of the last act, who was very good. And quite the up & coming young thing by all accounts. Then followed the DJ, whose DJing technique was to simple leave his pre-prepared (is that a tautology? I'm never sure... simply saying 'prepared' doesn't quite sound right) mix-CD on. Very loud. But the contents were good, and his self-penned artwork was delightful. I just wish I could hear what he was saying to me. Loud, dark pubs I find a bit disorientating, maybe I am very photo-aurally-sensitive as no-one else seems to mind. I much prefer a wall-to-wall carpeted pub with nice wallpaper than one full of bare wood and painted plaster, but again I seem to be in a minority here.


I like this pub, good beer and good music and good people. Just a tad too loud. I don't really have more to write, but the people I was chatting to are the definitely the kind I'd like to sit under The Apple Tree with.

I think everyone had gone upstairs.



Handy Hamilton



Pressed (for a drink) on North End

Pub 2. The Duke of Hamilton, 28th August 2011.

Hampstead is a lovely area, and if I was really really rich I'd live round here somewhere. But there's a problem with Hampstead, and that's that there's not many pubs, and it's especially noticable since a couple have closed in the past few years and a couple more have been gastro-fied. So I reckon there's only three pubs worth going in, and to the staff in one of them I had to explain what Morris Dancing was. Where do they get these people??

Live Irish music
Today was the day of the big game. Previously in the Duke I'd seen much sports on the telly, and there's sporting memorbilia all over and the manager once proudly showed me his downstairs sports bar - ie. the cellar, where he'd be showing this competition and that world cup and then proceeded to try to get me to guess what was in his special cocktail - poured from a 2litre plastic coke bottle and looking like off-white emulsion. After three tasty shots the only ingredient I managed to guess was 'cream'. Imagine my disappointment then when after walking miles and miles and miles (Hampstead is miles and miles and miles away) and being greeted with an off telly, and live Irish music instead. Normally this would be the way I'd prefer things in pubs but not this day. Bah! Oh well. Might as well have drink.

The Duke has a decent range of 4 or 5 ales on, and I opted for the very sessionable 3.4% Adamn's Lighthouse (£3.20 / £1.60) and being a bit peckish after my long walk the cabinet of warm savouries caught my eye. Plumping for a £2.50 sausage roll the salivation began.

The food is small but cheerful
Seeing the £2.50 sausage land in front of the salivation ceased and the disappointment set in. I'd never see such a small sausage roll in my life! It was wider than it was long. Mr Gregg would be spinning in his grave - if he's dead, and indeed ever existed. It was nice though, but at 83.3p a mouthful I really would have wanted a big more sausage and a lot more roll. Then the barmaid asked me if it was alright when she took the plate away, "Small, but perfectly formed" I told her honestly, and she gave me a right look (I couldn't quite decide what kind of look, but it was a look - a look of "I don't believe he's not completely satisfied with this little sausage roll I lovingly prepared for him, and even pointed him to the selection of one type of sauce and no mustard!") but I made it all better by quickly adding "like the best things in life!" she laughed politely and toddled off. But the barstaff were very nice I must say. And a barman - perhaps the manager - seemed to enjoying the company of the regulars, and even though every other word was 'fuck' he still rewarded with them a dish of roasties. Alright for some!

Game of Risk? Free estate agents magazine?
Nicely busy but not too loud I perched myself at the end of the bar, next to a no-doubt rarely used game of Risk! and directly opposite the boisterous regulars. I was able to over-hear the conversation between and chap who looked like a Bavarian hiker and very neatly-turned out fellow drink white wine. They were discussing why Inspector Dunstable had (or had not) been promoted and was it because of his name, much like why Private Pike had never been made a Lance Corporal in Dad's Army. Something to do with Constable Dunstable? No idea. The last I heard of their chat was the following: "I'm going over the hill in the usual manner." "You're going over the hill in the usual manner?" I do like pub banter like that. But I moved down the other end of the bar to hear the live Irish music better, and not so much the lively Irish man who thought he was the live music. The music was very nice, if you like a bit of folk. As I do and as did a very drunk and very old and slightly glamerous woman at the bar. They do do some good music in here - I went in once to be entertained by a young lady and called herself The Singing Harpist. She did what it said on the tin, and very charming it was too. More pubs should singing harpists in.

















Also more pubs should have signs to the loos, or at least the last one I went into should. Note to the York and Albany : there's nothing wrong with a chalked toilet direction. I'm not sure how many pubs need real time beer news though, with a mysterious distance, presumably from brewery to pub, given to tenths of a mile. But still a nice touch though... I suppose. I do like this boozer - it has carpet and no jukebox and even though the lovely little barmaid I used to look forward to seeing every time seems to have now left, I shall continue to pop in, and if nothing else drink a toast to the tree out the back to which the pub owes its continuing existance, if Camden planning lore is to be believed. Even though getting there isn't at all handy.





The grand old of Duke of York

Pub 1. The York and Albany, 26th August 2011.

The York and Albany - stair-rods I tell ya!

How better to start this survey than to visit not only a pub I'd never been to before and, through no fault of its own one I'm unlikely to visit again. In fact, is the York and Albany even a pub? The lines between pubs and bars and even clubs are blurred enough a long while ago, but now with gastro-schmastro-pubs popping up all over the licensed victuallers' Venn diagram gets very complicated indeed. But also not very interesting. I think it's safe to say that the York and Albany would not even consider itself as lowly as a mere gastro-pub, but more a casual-but-fancy restaurant which tolerates drinkers - happily tolerates mind you.

Like much of Camden due south of the Zoo, it was built by that grandee of Portland stone and stucco John Nash and named after a pal of his - Prince Frederick, the then Duke of York and Albany. And a man so important as to have no inclination to get out of bed for a boring solo-dukedom. Possibly the same chap immortalised for indecisive hill-climbing in the jolly old nursery rhyme, but not the same chap as the grand cities of New York and Albany are named after (that Duke of Y 'n' A was of course James II / VII), but possibly the same chap responsible for the nomenclature of a much more boozy pub just down the road - but alas just over the border, so of no interest to us.
For as long as I've lived in the borough the York and Albany was abandoned, derelict and unloved - expect by the many pigeons who ate, shat and died within its once proud Georgian walls. About four or so years ago hard-hats and scaffolding arrived, and to the great pleasure by amateur and unlearned local history buffs like myself it was saved to the world. I forget by whom though - some 80s pop star or something like that I think, and was to be some sort of music venue. It was called the Blueberry or Mayflower or something similarly pretty and flowery. And meangingless. When the hoardings came down and I peered through the gleaming windows I saw the stupidest bar I'd ever seen. So huge and fat and round-edged it would've been impossible to lean against - as we all know, lean-against-ability is a very important property of a bar, and bars are always in need of propping. But to my knowledge it never opened, Gordon Ramsey - the well known gin salesman - stepped in, and hey-presto here we are now. Thankfully they left the lovely and presumably original exterior tiles alone, (the wooden flooring inside is very nice too), so if nothing else what must be one of the oldest pubs in north Camden is very easy on the heritage-eager eye. And huzzah to that!

For a drinker in perhaps the poshest pub (pub-type establishment) in Camden it might not be very comfortable, but it wasn't so bad. The only draught beer I could see was was Camden Town's keg Pale Ale (4.5%) at £4.50 a pint, or £2.25 for a half. No handpumps. I'm sure they have plenty of fancy bottles tucked away chilling, or perhaps beer drinkers are not their intended clientelle. I've only paid more than that once before, but at least they have the decency to charge half for a half. The glass came served on a serviette - like cool American bars do, and the change came on a silver platter with a cheery "Your change please." it went straight in to my pocket. As I relaxed into a large and comfy black leather sofa (all the 'lounge' furniture is exactly that, lovely in a lounge but useless for discussing important matters of the day with a drinking partner, a game of crib or pouring over today's cryptic) I overheard the barman asking a woman paying for her meal how it was, "Not to your usual standard I'm afraid" came the reply in a tone that was trying not to sound too cross or disappointed but also trying to let you know that she was actually quite cross and disappointed. I bet the shoddy whatever it was ruined the rest of her day, and therefore her husbands too. Her husband seemed like a nice fellow though - he showed me how to use the taps in the loo. Now, I'm no Stephen Hawking by any means but any tap that needs explaining to an experienced user of ablutionary facilities all over the world is a stupid tap.

Mirror mirror on the wall
The interior is generally dull or rather low-key but comfortable, the very considerate music system providing barely-audible nu-lounge-chill-out-jazz-elevator muzak. The bar was clean and efficient and business-like. On the wall there was mirror which reminded me of one my Nan used to have her parlour wall, and no-doubt for reasons of childhood familiarity and nostalgia it looked better at my Nan's. The odd looking black plastic thing to the left is actually a spotlight pointing upwards at the door and seeming to illuminate nothing at all, but I'm sure the effect is more striking at night. Talking of striking, just as I sat down there boomed a large clap of thunder. Had I seen the lightning I could've of course calculated its proximity extremely accurately but alas I missed the flash. But I would estimate it was quite close. The last time I heard a-thunder this loud was just I'd struck X in Boris's box in the Mayoral elections - surely a portent of good!
A couple came in, and their age-gap was indinstinct. An old boyfriend or a young father? Or something completely different? None of my business of course, but their enquiries as to how to order food at what time and where they could sit got my intrigued as to the fare here - even though I had pie & baked tater waiting for me at home. I looked around and thought I saw a pile of menus on the bar, but they turned out to perfectly crisp untouched newspapers - perhaps they iron them. A NY Times, Irish something-or-other and a Grauniad of course. Not a Racing Post in sight! Yes it's that type of place, I don't know why they even waste the money on newspapers. So although I don't know what the food is like, I'm sure it's not cheap although I've heard it's good. Using a Sunday roast as a sort of Big Mac index, make what you will of that it's £17 a head here. One assumes with all the trimmings.
 
I went for a little stroll (to the loo as already mentioned). Past the dining area with a nice view of a brick wall - and I mean that. I like a nice old wall. Here there was another spotlight lighting nor spotting nothing. But I'm sure when it's turned on the effect is ummm atmospheric.

Downstairs was very nice, all plush red and boudoiry. This must be where the drinkers come in the evening. On dates and all inclandestine and the like. Drinking - nay, sipping - the fanciest of cocktails thus making them fancy too. I do like though the way that the seating down here does not encouarge any leaning back or lounging, thus making for good conversation. As important to a pub as the afore mentioned propping requirements of the bar. Just round the corner from here sat an army of staff having their pre-food food. All resplendent in their white pinnies they looked like a group of dental hygienists on a Chrimbo outing.

Although nearly at the toilet now I had no idea as I'd not seen a single gents pointer along the way, oh no - that would be far too cluttering. I found them though, fear not dear reader! Back upstairs to my comfy sofa and gassy pale ale. There's not a lot to look at inside here, but the lovely huge windows provide ample oppurtunity to look at the things outside. Be it a handsome Nash house across the road, or just the comings and goings of the traffic-lighted traffic on the busy junction at the which the pub sits.
















All very relaxing, until a sugar-fueled child started to run about. I can just about tolerate kids in pubs, but like dogs only as long they are quiet and well-behaved. And not running about. At least you can stroke a dog and treat it to pork scratchings, try that with a floppy-haired child and stern looks from mother will be sure to follow. But one of the unforeseen downsides of the smoking ban, is that in some pubs in the borough there's a certain type of young couple who deem that particular pub fit to also act as a creche. Cue tables clogged up with toys, games, crayons, wiping things and feeding bottles while the yummy mummies in attendance not only nurse their precious ones but also a half of sweet cider. Anyways, says the mother of child to father diligently chasing his boy round the place "we're not going outside in this [dashed awful rain]", "that's ok" says dad without a hint of irony "he's getting his exercise in the restaurant." !!! He's letting his child run about in a restaurant! No wonder the kids are rioting. Time to go. "Get the coffees Michael" says mother instructingly as she goes to the toilet. But not to be completely controlled Michael asks for teas. Ha! Get that women's lib. But then he let's us all down by ordering Earl Grey and mint - make that fresh mint. Got to be fresh. Although i have no idea if fresh mint tea is tea made from actual mint only to be pestled and infused on Michael's instruction, or just a different type of mint tea, this is not the tea of a builder. Michael and his wife and two lads did all seem very nice though - only too nice, y'know?

The author's bicycle awaiting his master.

Also by now the masses of workers had emerged from their foddering downstairs and were now dashing around with the industriousness of good ants, and the calmness had been shattered. With five punters in there we were outnumbered by staff at 3:1, which would account by me being attended to the second my empty glass touched the table. The smiling waiter seemed surprised I wasn't staying for another, thanks but no - I have nice pubs to go to, not nice restaurants.